She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
