I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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