but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
