It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
