He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
