I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
