I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
