Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
