boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
