and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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