i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
