Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
