I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
