singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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