Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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