Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
two words...techno handjob
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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