I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
