They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize