I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
