Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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