People with herpes should wear stickers.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
