Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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