Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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