why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
