I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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