PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
