Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
