I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
