So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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