So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
