u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
