I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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