what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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