Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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