OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
