It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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