chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
