Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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