fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize