i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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