oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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