I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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