I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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