how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
