Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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