I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
