Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
