so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
