just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
