its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
