I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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