she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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