Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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