This is not my ceiling
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
