It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
