Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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