apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
