trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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