i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
