Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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