so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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