If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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