i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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