tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
