I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
