why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
