I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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