Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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