dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
