i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
