theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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