I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
